Characteristically Afraid

Have you ever been afraid? What a stupid question. Of course you have been afraid. Fear is an evolutionary response. Besides, there is a lot in our world to be afraid of. Not only did I just read an article discussing the just plain nasty food safety practices of amusement parks, I also live in a time where sick individuals gun down movie goers, mall shoppers, students, etc. The world is brutal. Hell… Life is just plain brutal. Maybe not to all people though. There are lucky ones. If I were to take a guess, I would assume there is a spectrum. Glad I am not the Great One of the Universe tasked with figuring that shit out.

Now that we have established that all people have felt fear at some point, tell me your fears… Too deep? Too personal? Maybe too silly?

When I was a kid, I was kind of a scaredy cat. You know… The kind of kid that sleeps with their mommy every night. As a kid living with a single mom, she was my fierce protector. I vividly remember being extremely paranoid about being kidnapped in the middle of the night. Go ahead… Psychoanalyze that shit. I mean this fear was real to me. So real that I would hold on to my mom’s fancy headboard while falling asleep… Yeah… Because my little hand grip was going to save me from a home invasion/kidnapping. That was my little kid brain… Always thinking…

All that thinking makes you paranoid or anxious at some point. All those what if’s lead you down rabbit holes of worry. I am learning to bury that garbage but I still let it out more than I should. Worry has the power to waste the good times in life. I mean, you only get a bed to yourself for so long in life. Cherish those years. On the other hand, you only get to share a bed with the ones you love for so long. Cherish that time as well.

As previously stated, I have always been a worrier. My biggest worry, to this day, involves losing a loved one somehow. If I am not with them, I worry that they could be hurt or get into an accident. What if someone I love falls terminally ill? What if I fall terminally ill? In other words, I worry about the strike of tragedy. These are real things that are not completely irrational thoughts. Things happen… Even as a kid, my head went to this place. Why?

I think this is because I am a ridiculously passionate person. When I feel, I feel hard. Some might call me a Drama Queen. My partner says this is the reason I was sorted into the Slytherin House. Yes! I am a Harry Potter NERD… What about it?

So… I am a passionate worrier and this shows up in my fears. As always, I am seeking balance; burying the unnecessary thoughts and drama in order to live the life I want to live. How does your character show up in your fears?

 

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